Words are the worst and best thing we have about being humans. Something you say in the heat of a moment can have a lifetime impact. Something you never say even though you want too can create ripples that you didn’t even know were there. Something you say could literally save someone’s life. Words matter.

I reported it to the institution. There was a meeting. In that meeting I was attempting to express my outrage. Out of the 5 people on the call, two people sniggered when I spoke. One of those people was my best friend. We’re not friends anymore. We never recovered. We tried but there was never a moment where we could see each others points of view.

After a couple of false starts, I responded to a profile that said: apply within before I get bored. Of all the profiles on all the apps, this was probably the most honest I had seen. It could have read before I get bored / lose faith in the opposite sex / give up hope / commit to a life of being single because this is all too hard. Whichever version it was. I felt it and it literally maybe been 6 weeks since I started my first profile.

That little cottage became my sanctuary. But, some days were harder than others. I had just lost two of the most important relationships in my life. My self worth was decimated. So, some days in the wise words of Beatrix Kiddo (Uma Thurman) from Kill Bill, all I could do was “wiggle [my] big toe”.