Your radical responsibility as a leader
Radical responsibility with a describing word, because the word responsibility is not enough in this context. I just did a podcast interview with one my earlier bosses, that I really liked and respected as a human and as a professional. And, I was reminded of the responsibility that we have as leaders to support the humans that we lead.
Three stories came up when I thought about this:
The first - the time that a client’s wife told the partner I worked for (while I sat across the desk from her) that “she is useless, I don’t even know why hired her”. I had a panic attack on the 45 minute drive home. The partner I worked for said nothing. He didn’t support. I left that job soon after, got a new job and learned new skills.
The second - my grandfather died. I was on the train from Central Coast NSW to Sydney … and I got a call from my family. He had died. I wasn’t even in the state. I didn’t have tissues on me. I sobbed. Alone on the train for 2 hours. When I got to Sydney, I had to meet my boss at the airport. While I was waiting for my boss, I got a coffee. The tears were pretty obvious. The guy at the coffee shop said “Oh did you break up with your boyfriend?”… dick. My boss saw me. Gave me a hug. Then asked what happened. Tried to make me go home. I didn’t. I stayed on. Because I knew that a day in his presence would be better than a lonely 2 hour train ride home.
The third - (although not the original story I thought of, that one fell out of my brain…). The third was the moment that my boss said “You are not right for this project, I just can’t trust your judgement”. This revelation from this woman came after I had worked 14 days straight and set up a team to work on a really important project in history. She didn’t know that this moment would send me into a complete tailspin. She didn’t know I would end up seeing my old therapist. She didn’t know that I wouldn’t be able to leave my house for almost two weeks because I was fraught with anxiety. She didn’t know. But, I also not sure she really gave a shit either to be honest.
The human impact of your words, actions, communicated expectations and non verbal signals are bigger than you think. I remember the moments that a boss told me “that was a massive fuck up Rachael” (just about yelling in my face) … or, the time that I had the owner of a law firm ask me “if a colleague brushed up against your breast at work, what you would you do” (super inappropriate, right?). Moments shape people. If you are going to be leading people, you must be responsible for your self awareness. This is the difference between a responsible leader and one that people will learn what not to do from.
Who do you want to be?
