When you realise the life you wanted is here

I was just sweeping my kitchen with my little straw broom. The one that my mother in law always brings us from Sydney when she comes to visit. The one that I am still choosing even though we got one of those robot vacuums the other day. The stroke of that little straw broom sweeping up yesterdays mess of two parrots and two humans, is somehow more satisfying that the unnecessarily loud roar of the little robovac. When I was walking around sweeping up the house, I was thinking of what success looks like for me in this current season of my life.

It is going to the gym at 10am on a Monday without repercussions or explaining where I am. It is quietly sending money to loved ones so they can do the things that they want to do but don’t necessarily have the funds to do it. It is making sure my dad has a memorable 70th birthday at a country and music festival, even though I couldn’t get the band to sing him happy birthday. And, it is hearing the laugh of my husband from the other side of the house when he is watching some ridiculous video on Facebook that he is getting hysterical over. That is success right now in this season.

And, right at this moment, I am working on taking this moment in. And, it feels light. Last week was heavy. Uncertainty gives me the creeps some days. Other days, in this moment, not knowing everything and how its all going to work out feels light. It feels light because I decided it does. I am more and more realising that the choices I make to create the life that I want are completely within my realm of possibility. Not control because there are many other outside factors that may create a butterfly effect in my life, but for the possible parts, the things that I can imagine, the life I want to live. I have the capacity to choose.

After all, the decisions that I have made to get me to this point, today - where things feel light, have worked out pretty good I would say.