It is only the first time, the first time
As adults we don’t get firsts much. As kids there is a lot of firsts. First time you see a tree, eat pumpkin, walk, sing, speaker … literally everything happens for the first time as a child. But, as an adult our guard is up and we are less likely to create firsts for ourselves. This is even truer when something big happens - loss of a loved one, break down of a relationship - something big that changes the direction of our life. We have to experience the first event without that person or get the first family photo, without that person by your side. That’s the harder side of firsts as an adult.
The nicer, more exciting side of firsts is the first time that you get to do something that truly lights you up. Something that changes the course of your life, for the better. The thing that you knew deep down you should have been doing all along, but you just got the confidence to do. For me, that was speaking. The first room was a few years back. A room full of law students in the highest Court in Queensland. It was probably the first and only time I will ever speak in that Court as a lawyer, as a person and so I wanted to go in and out with a bang.
I spoke to these law students who were being orientated into Griffith Law School about the rollercoaster journey of being a lawyer. About the ups and down. About how we help people but sometimes we are not so good at helping ourselves. I used colour and joy in my slides, I was honest, raw and I might have said a swear word. I walked out of the room, elated. My public speaking coach had said about 6 months earlier that speaking is serving - and, in that moment I knew exactly what he meant.
Speaking for me is the ability to change the life of at least one person in the room, in every room that I walk into. Some room will be harder than others. Some rooms it will always be the first time walking in. Other rooms, it might be the tenth time walking in. But, the mission is always still the same. Speak to serve. It’s not about me. My fear, my anxiety of standing up for the first time in front of those people, is not about me. It is instead about the audience. About the one person in the room that I can leave thinking - maybe its possible? I only have to be scared to do the thing once for the first time.
