Communication in Adversity – Are You Okay? 🙂
Looking back at a blog post that I wrote nearly a decade ago, I’m struck by how much and how little has changed in the lessons that are relevant for humans day-to-day. The circumstances of life are different now, but the lesson remains the same: in moments of adversity, communication is not just important – it is everything.
Back then, my inner circle and I were facing wave after wave of challenges – loss, diagnoses, unemployment, relationship breakdowns, and the general chaos of life. It was a time that taught me that while the universe can often feel like a jerk, we still have agency in how we respond and how we connect. What carried us through was not having all the answers, but being willing to ask (and be asked) the simplest of questions: “Are you okay?”
The Role of Communication in Hard Times
What I saw then – and what I still believe now – is that communication is the thread that holds us together when things fall apart. Sharing our experiences doesn’t erase pain or fear, but it does lighten the load. Sometimes, it means practical advice. Sometimes, just a hug. And sometimes, it’s simply the relief of knowing you don’t have to carry your emotional baggage alone.
Silence, on the other hand, can isolate us further. Sweeping things under the rug rarely helps us process or heal. We are wired for community, and when we let people in – even a little – we allow support, kindness, and understanding to enter. That is how we empower each other to face the unchangeable and find courage to act on what we can change.
Control, Courage and Perspective
One lesson that stands the test of time is the importance of focusing on what is within our control. Back then, I leaned heavily on the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer – strength to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what can, and wisdom to know the difference.
It’s simple advice, but in practice, it can be one of the hardest things to do. Our minds naturally obsess over the uncontrollable. Yet, the moments I’ve felt most grounded – whether years ago or today – are the ones where I’ve brought my focus back to what I can influence. And when you’re surrounded by people who understand your situation, the clarity to see that difference becomes much sharper.
A Train Ride and Three Little Words
One story that has stayed with me was from a train ride years ago. I received the news that my grandfather had passed away. Sitting there, openly sobbing, I was struck by how not one person asked if I was okay. Strangers turned away, silent.
The only person who spoke to me – a barista when I reached my destination – misread the situation and assumed I’d had “troubles with my boyfriend.” He meant well, but it highlighted how powerful it would have been if someone had simply asked the real question: “Are you okay?”
Those three words may not fix anything, but they open the door. They show someone that they’re seen, that they matter, that they are not invisible in their pain.
Why This Still Matters
Today, the details of life are different. My circle has shifted, new challenges have come, and some wounds have healed. But the lesson stands unchanged: communication is not just about words – it’s about presence, empathy, and courage.
Whether it’s a colleague stressed at work, a friend going through a quiet struggle, or even a stranger crying on public transport – take the chance to ask. They may not open up, but at least you’ve given them permission to.
So here’s my reflection, eight years on: the art of communication is not polished speeches or perfect timing. It’s noticing, asking, and listening. It’s reminding someone they’re not alone. And it’s remembering, always, that three little words – “Are you okay?” – might just change the course of someone’s day.
